Staggers fought the law, and the jury is still out on who was the victor.

Still having problems with troublesome wind, and everything else, Pineapple had a second stab at amplifying his guitar, with possibly even less success than before. Having heard that a guitar maker called Adolf Rickenbacker had produced an amplified lap steel guitar, called the "Frying pan", Staggers adapted a Harmony Regal parlor guitar by attaching a large griddle to the front with rivets obtained from an oil derrik construction site. Unfortunately, the power of the riveting machine was so great, all that was left of the guitar when he had finished was the headstock, bearing the logo "Harmony, steel reinforced neck". It was, but nobody could find it.
 Undeterred by this setback, the Pineapple connected the headstock to the panhandle, strung up the griddle, fixed on some cables and plugged into the mains, having completely misunderstood the principle of the magnetic pickup. The next four months of his career were spent in the burns department of Norfolk State Hospital.
 Upon his recovery, war was declared in Europe, Being a patriotic man, Staggers wanted to get involved and "do his bit". As soon as hostilities began, Staggers rushed down to the recruiting office of the Inverness and Clydesdale, Caledonian express steam packet and ferry corporation, and enlisted as an entertainer and spiritual advisor. Obviously, this was a non combatant role, as befitting a churchman, and also, as this was a fictional shipping line set up as a cover for the liquor smuggling operation of Borvington Smythe, the head of the West Norfolk branch of the notorious "Borvington Smythe" gang, he never actually had to go anywhere. Or do anything. Except store quite a lot of communion wine in his shed. Even though he didn't give communion. Or have a shed. So he kept it in Borvington's shed. Or warehouse. This lead to Staggers first serious run in with the law.
 The Pineapple, like many street musicians of his time , had had many minor run-ins with the authorities, and spent various periods of his life locked up in "the slammer". Some of his periods of incarceration where justified, and some less so, but all should be included in the story of his life.
 The first time he was arrested was nothing more than an accident of the police (as a lot of these things were, and still are!). As a young man, Staggers put a lot of effort into learning the songs of the older bluesmen in his neighbourhood, chiefly the great Samuel "Feathers" Tweak, whom he idolised. When Staggers was twelve, he felt old enough to show Feathers what he had learnt, and played both of his songs for him, and Tweak instantly replied "man that's some repertoire you got", before spitting on Pineapple's trousers and falling over. Staggers was so excited at being accepted by this great man that he ran up to the first person he saw and shouted "I've got a repertoire!"
 Unfortunately the first person he saw was a policeman who assumed it was a weapon of some sort, shot him , and then arrested him for possesion of an offensive repertoire and theft of a state bullet. He was subsequently cleared of possessing a repertoire, but sentenced to two years for bullet theft.
 Upon his release from Norfolk county Jail ,  Staggers vowed never to go back inside again, fine sentiments but a tough call for a street musician, and one he unfortunately didn't live up to. In fact, it was during a spell inside that Staggers met the great Huddie Ledbetter, in Huntsville prison, Texas.
Staggers knew of Leadbelly, as he had carried out an exorcism on a friend of Leadbelly's uncle, Terrell Ledbetter although he didn't actually meet Terrel. In fact it was this exorcism that got him thrown back into prison, as he was arrested on a charge of "improper use of a dwelling place as a place of industry", because he was paid eight cents for the exorcism and two cents per song (post demon), which made the house he performed it in officially a business address. It was this experience which led Pineapple to subsequently refuse payment for anything when inside any sort of building, and this caused him to develop rickets, malnutrition and bufonophobia.
 However, when he first saw Leadbelly, the great man was playing for the inmates a song called "State of Arkansas", also known as "Diamond Joe", a song which affected Staggers deeply, and there are many recorded instances of him speaking of this song, but none of him actually playing it.

"Play it f*****g loud!" The pineapple attempts amplification.

 Whilst playing at a barbecue in 1927, the Pineapple found it difficult to be heard above the noise of the extremely violent wind and various other weather phenomenon which seemed to occur whenever he was engaged to provide outdoor entertainment. This lead him to set about creating the first  portable amplification system ever used, which he first trialled in an abandoned living room and then took to The Gibson (TM)  musical instrument factory in Kalamazoo, with the intention of selling the idea for ready money.
   The system was basically a public address microphone and loudspeaker system balanced on a chair, and connected to  an electrical amplifier, which was powered by a small but serviceable coal fed, belt driven steam traction engine. Pineapple's design was assessed by Lloyd Loar, who declared it "rubbish", and suggested Staggers should "stop wasting my time".
  Having studied his plans, we think the main problem was the general size of the traction engine, volume of coal needed to fuel it, and the eighteen hour "flashing up" period needed to get a head of steam. Also, the team of stokers shovelling coal into it made so much noise that they outweighed any possible amplification benefits by a long mark. However, this then lead the Pineapple to invent his patented "silent" coke shovel, although this was actually nothing more than a preloaded wooden shovel, with the coke tied onto it with strips of an old bed sheet. The principle was that the shovel would be picked up silently, and the whole thing thrown, complete, into the furnace. Unfortunately the amount of shovels needed, and time taken to tie the coke in place made the idea not really viable. Nice try though, Staggers! (This system can actually be heard in use on the field recording of  "Pineapple Rag" made by Richtonbard Van Schnoitz in 1928. If anyone has a copy let us know!)
  He got his first real amplifier in 1938,a Longview Cornsnake model 1, but couldn't use it as he had  pawned his guitar to get the money.There then followed an eight month period where he neither played nor recorded, being trapped in a spiral of pawning amps and guitars, but never having both at the same time.It was around this time that he took up the spoons, at the suggestion of Crispy Willis,in an effort to pay back the money they had spent on publicity photographs. It is unclear if pineapple ever played an amplified electric guitar.

Staggers life, loves and family.

Pineapple was married many times in his life, always to the same woman, Misty Buff Staggers, nee Knapp. The concept of marriage was not well grasped by them, and they assumed that every time one or the other had been away overnight it was necessary to repeat the wedding ceremony. As Pineapple was constantly on the move, this led to much confusion, sometimes they would have two weddings on the same day purely to save time when he returned.It is claimed that this is the reason Pineapple became ordained as a pastor, in the cleansed by holy fire ,quenched by the blessed tears of our lords beloved mother unitarian non denominational united methodist church, Norfolk, to save on the cost of marriages by carrying out the ceremonies himself.

How many children the Pineapple and Misty Buff had has been a subject of much debate and controversy, as he claimed never to have had any children at all, being constantly confused as to his marital status, and fearful of bringing disgrace upon his family.

 However, we are aware of at least twelve children that are undoubtedly his and Misty's, as photographs were taken at the births, for publicity purposes (paid for by Crispy Willis). From information obtained locally, the boys were all named after different mixes of compost, and the girls after styles of brick bonding.

The life and times of Mr Blind Pineapple Staggers

The history of the musician known as Blind "Pineapple" Staggers is confused and patchy. Christened "Blind" by his parents in anticipation of future success as a soft shoe dancer, he ironically became deaf shortly before his fifth birthday. He was given a guitar as a present by a vindictive sister who believed that it would torment him so much that he would leave home. He learnt to play by picking up vibrations from the loose window in the room he shared with his 19 sisters and 26 brothers, the lack of space meaning his bed was pressed vertically up against the glass, and he had to sleep strapped in by a belt. More is being found out about this fruitful genius almost every week, and as I get more information I will share it with the world, but here is a little of his history.

 He was born in 1896 to father Wisconsin "Lefty" Staggers and mother Ernee Rae Buffett, a very distinctive and well known woman, in a town on the south left of America, but the actual location is shrouded in mystery. As a child, Blind grew up in poverty, the family being so poor, he could not even afford to grow hair for the first year of his life, and took to covering his head with moss. He had no formal schooling, and this led to him receiving the name "Pineapple" from one of his mother's many friends, who believed he was actually a pineapple.

 At the age of 12 he packed up his guitar and left home, earning what money he could entertaining people who didn't like any other kind of music, and perfecting his craft. It was around this time that he met and formed a partnership with Chip "Crispy" Willis, a ventriloquist from Belgium who was looking for someone small to walk around with. Crispy was a nice man who had trained as an ear doctor, and found that Pineapple's deafness was caused by an old wasps nest, which although dormant had been completely lodged in his inner ear, and as he had specialised in insect related hearing difficulties, he removed it with a mixture of ash and petrol.

Cured of his deafness, Pineapple soon realised he was not very good, and it is at this time he disappears for about a year, and no records exists of his whereabouts until June 1910, when he turned up at a barbecue in Norfolk, and played 3 songs, in exchange for a shoe.The difference in his ability was remarkable,his singing style and virtuoso picking surprised everyone, as did the fact that he had decided to effect a pronounced limp, purely for stylistic reasons. Some say he struck a deal with the devil,but he didn't. He just practiced a lot on his own.

 He bought his first quality guitar from PT Barnum,the renowned showman, a Longview Western model 1 which, he was told, if you tapped it in the right way  would fold up like a top hat.often after this he would become distracted mid song and start tapping on his guitar in an effort to make it collapse, which confused his audience and detracted from the power of his songs. This ended 18 months later, when the guitar did collapse and he couldn't open it out again.